


Dark Retribution

by lonelysector23



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Annoying nobles, Anxiety, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Comfort, Halamshiral (Dragon Age), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Panic, Trevelyan Temper, Winter Palace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 21:10:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21143264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelysector23/pseuds/lonelysector23
Summary: A mission to save Empress Celene from certain death results in Raphael and Lily having to deal with a lot more than they were prepared for.





	Dark Retribution

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Drops of Satina](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18399140) by [Kagetsukai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kagetsukai/pseuds/Kagetsukai). 

There were many things Raphael did _ not _ miss from his old, suffocating life as a noble, and parties were definitely one of them.

He had been forced to attend them regularly with his so-called family when he was in Ostwick, and was never once granted a reprieve from the endless false smiles and dull conversations that made him want to damn everything to the void. Every single one of those parties ended up being an absolute nightmare - he either had to deal with supposed family friends that were determined to shove their powdered noses in his business, or with Ediam and Aurora’s angry shouts when they finally arrived back at the estate, with Catherine behaving as an amused spectator.

No, he _ really _ didn’t miss any of that.

The spark of annoyance he had felt the moment Lily told him about the impending trip to Halamshiral turned into frustration a couple of months later when Josephine managed to secure an invitation to the peace talks Empress Celene was holding. The fact that they had to set foot in Orlais to save the empress from being assassinated wasn’t the problem - the problem was that the ‘peace talks’ were going to be held under the guise of a masquerade ball. 

A ridiculous party held in a giant, pretentious palace where _ everyone _ would be hiding behind masks, and with a fucking assassin on the loose, no less. As if the usual parties weren’t bad enough already.

Lily, knowing about his past experiences with his family, had noticed his increasing uneasiness and asked him if he wanted to stay in Skyhold, but he firmly refused. He may not have been very happy about going to Orlais, but there was no way he was going to let her and the rest of his friends go into a den of wolves by themselves. 

So instead, he tried to push his frustration aside as he dealt with the incessant fittings for a stiff uniform that was too warm and confining, and tried not to roll his eyes when he and Lily were given ‘fundamental lessons’ on propriety and dancing. The excuse behind those lessons was that the masquerade being held at the Winter Palace wasn’t an ordinary _ soirée_, and it was important to know how to keep up appearances if the mission was to succeed. 

The Game, whatever the fuck _ that _ was, had to be played flawlessly. 

Lily also considered the entire thing to be ridiculous right from the start. She may have kept her irritation at the whole thing reigned in for the most part, but her ire had finally made itself known one afternoon when he was working on armor with her in the undercroft after she was finally free from a long week of dress fittings. Apparently, the extravagant gowns that had been ordered for her were each met with a defiant protest, but her complaints were completely voided in the end. It took Josephine, Leliana, _ and _ Vivienne to convince her to at least try them on until she finally settled for what sounded like the fluffiest dress they had. 

He would have laughed at her grumpiness if he hadn’t related so much to her frustration, but at least he knew he wasn’t alone in his sentiments. 

The rest of the inner circle had turned out to be just as unhappy and annoyed as he was, and it seemed as if everyone’s mood worsened as they made the three-day-long trip to Halamshiral. Well, _ almost _ everyone’s. Leliana’s good mood appeared to take them all by surprise, and Raphael decided not to dwell on the possible reasons why. Instead, he tried to concentrate on the impending mission - the sooner it was taken care of, the sooner they could go back home.

Oh, if only everything had been that simple. 

He had been well aware that the whole... _ thing _ was going to be difficult, but the heavy feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach the moment the massive palace came into view still managed to catch him by surprise, and It was nearly as suffocating as his uniform and the cloudy gray sky. At the time, he wasn’t sure what the night would hold in store for them all, but as soon as he stepped through the iron and gold archway and into the palace courtyard, he just knew that everything would be a thousand times worse than any of the pointless parties he had attended in the past. 

Chattering nobles had been scattered among the vulgar display of wealth throughout the entire marble palace, dressed in their supposed finery and peering at them all through their gaudy masks, almost as if they were assessing their prey. It all made Raphael feel small again, as if he was trapped back in Ostwick once more and under the scrutinizing gaze of everyone around him. He did his best to brush it aside, but when he was presented to the empress alongside Lily’s inner circle, the stares were soon accompanied by murmurs and quiet whispers that were much harder to ignore.

He shouldn’t have been so surprised that most of them seemed to know who he was - gossip among the nosy nobility usually spread like wildfire, after all. Needless to say, his already bad mood had only worsened with every sneaky glance that was shot his way, enough so that Josephine eventually threatened him with forcing him to wear a mask for the rest of the evening.

_ If you insist on looking as if you are about to pass a kidney stone, then you are going to have to wear this! _

He had tried to force his face into what he hoped was a neutral expression after that. However, it did nothing to stop the frustration from building inside him, and he couldn’t even bring himself to tease Cullen about his awestruck expression when Lily was introduced to the entire ballroom. Her regal appearance had been one of the night’s many topics of conversation, and was met with reactions varying from uncomfortable types of ‘admiration’ to downright jealousy. 

Raphael had done his best to be by her side as much as he could, though there were times where he had to go off to other areas of the palace to investigate rumors of suspicious activity while she followed her own leads. During those moments, he was alone with the annoying masked nobles who seemed determined to speak to him, and it made him uneasy to not know who was approaching him and for what purpose. He curtly responded to any attempts at conversation the entire time, and even had to brush off a few... blunt and _ interested _ people who had gotten a little too close for comfort. He wanted absolutely no part in their chatter, let alone their bed. 

He had told Lily what happened when he reported back to her, and after she quietly released a colorful string of insults directed at the nobles around them, she immediately insisted on sticking together for the rest of the night. 

They had decided to check on the rest of the inner circle right afterwards and were surveying the ballroom when they spotted Cullen. He looked uncomfortable and angry, trying hard to ignore the group of flirtatious nobles that surrounded him. The masked idiots apparently had no shame when it came to trying to get whatever - or whoever - they wanted, and their persistent behavior proved it. Fortunately, Raphael and Lily arrived just as one of the nobles was starting to get a little handsy with Cullen. 

The sudden warmth in the air came and went so fast that Raphael wasn’t sure if it had happened or not. Before he even had a chance to react, Lily stepped into the small crowd with a determined expression that barely concealed the fury on her face, not caring in the slightest about how the puffy skirt of her gown pushed against the nobles who were harassing the man she loved. After a few quick words with Cullen about how she needed his assistance with an important matter, he eagerly nodded with relief and offered his arm to ‘escort’ her away, but not before the grabby noble stopped them. 

The ratty man had made the mistake of setting his sights on Lily that time. He grasped her hand and raised it to his lips before slyly propositioning her, and it took every ounce of willpower Raphael had to _not_ toss the man over the railing and into the dance floor below. Judging from the murderous expression Cullen had on his face at the time, he must have felt the same way. Their anger, however, quickly turned into amusement when the noble’s smirking face turned pale and twisted into something that appeared to be pain underneath the hideous mask he was wearing. 

A mild cracking sound had come from the noble’s hand as Lily tightened her grip around it for a few seconds before she finally released him. After a polite but terse reminder that they were needed elsewhere, she promptly excused herself and led both Cullen and Raphael out of the ballroom and into the fresh air of the palace’s guest garden.

The three of them had kept Dorian company for a while as they discussed the night’s events and investigations. He seemed greatly entertained by Lily’s version of justice and by Cullen’s red face in particular, and was chuckling into his spiced wine when Leliana appeared. After Lily sheepishly told her what she had done, Leliana simply smirked and waved it off, claiming that Lord Connard wouldn’t dare make a scene about it - not when the inquisition was well aware of the many suspect dealings he was involved with. 

How Leliana knew who exactly had been on the receiving end of Lily’s growing wrath, Raphael wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was due to her many scouts that were secretly stationed throughout the palace, but whatever the reason, he was just glad they were prepared in case the idiot noble decided to try anything.

His sense of relief had been short lived. It only took a single, innocent comment from Dorian to make Raphael remember the heavy feeling that was firmly settled in his gut. 

_ I half expect my mother to materialize from the crowd and criticize my manners. _

The words had felt like an ice bath the moment he heard them. He doubted anyone from his family would have been invited to the palace, but that didn’t stop him from being even more cautious and wary of every single disguised noble who looked his way or approached him for the rest of the night. At least Lily was off speaking with Leliana when it happened. He didn’t want her to worry about his ridiculous paranoia, not when there was already so much weighing on her shoulders. 

The only relief he had gotten was when Lily finally sent the signal for everyone to quietly gather in the palace’s ‘Hall of Heroes’. She was waiting there with Bull when he and Dorian arrived, and quietly informed them all about of the clues she had found. 

Unfortunately, that was when Raphael soon realized things were so much worse than he could have ever imagined. 

Elven servants had been killed in their own quarters by Venatori agents who had secretly infiltrated the palace, and the ridiculous festivities were completely oblivious to the bloodshed that was occurring just outside of the palace walls. No one knew when Raphael sent flaming arrows straight through the hearts of Corypheus’s intruders, when Lily sent a few of them flying through the air with a fiery explosion, when Dorian paralyzed them with bolts of lightning, or when Bull swatted at them with his warhammer hard enough to send them flying into the next life. 

They had fought a fucking battle against the minions of a darkspawn magister - which included a damned harlequin that they had _ no _ clue how to react to - in the palace’s main gardens, and the stupid nobles only seemed to be preocupied with who slept with who and how many gems where fitted on the fancy and delicate slippers they were wearing.

And that wasn’t all, much to no one’s surprise.

Lily had no choice but to dance with Grand Duchess Florianne once they returned to the ballroom. _ Everyone _ present had their eyes on them as they gracefully twirled and drifted along the dance floor, and Lily somehow managed to keep her face impassive throughout the whole ordeal. 

There was no doubt in Raphael’s mind that if _he_ had been the one forced to dance, he would have definitely needed the mask Josephine had previously threatened him with. 

At least the sudden dance session had given Lily a lead. After a brief argument with her advisors about the failing negotiations and what had to be done, she led the way to the royal wing to snoop around for potential clues that could point to Celene’s potential assassin. 

Raphael wasn’t sure why he kept finding himself at a loss for words after all the insanity they had encountered. He had seen awful things throughout the night, but he was still caught off-guard by _ another _ deranged harlequin, a tied-up naked mercenary captain, and a fucking _ rift _ that began spouting demons the moment they got near it.

Florianne had been so smug, so confident that they wouldn’t survive her trap, that she blabbered on about her plans to kill Celene to stay in favor with Corypheus before she left them all to die. Little did she know that the arrogant smirk on her face wouldn’t last long. 

Lily had shown up on the ballroom’s dance floor soon afterwards, dressed in her gown and appearing as if she hadn’t been roasting demons and venatori just moments before. She allowed no room for the duchess to find a way out of any accusations, and swiftly proceeded to verbally annihilate her in front of the entire court before Celene’s guards dragged the wailing woman away. 

At the end of the night, the empress had kept her throne and Corypheus’s plans were completely derailed. 

The next day had been spent on negotiations with the empress, and after who knows how many discussions and stacks of paperwork, an agreement was finally reached. In return for saving her life and all of Orlais, she would devote herself and the Orlesian Empire to the Inquisition’s cause and assist in the charge against Corypheus when the time came. 

Raphael thought it was odd that it took the whole day, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The negotiations were done, and the empress had left to join talks with the rest of the nobility that had stayed in the palace.

Which meant they could _ finally _ leave this forsaken place.

He sighed as he leaned back in a fancy sofa that was too stiff and uncomfortable. It was clearly meant more as some type of gaudy decoration instead of something that was supposed to offer comfort, and he was slightly surprised that the flimsy thing didn’t collapse under his large frame. He would have preferred to lean against the wall instead, but his body just felt too exhausted for that. 

He glanced over at Lily, who was speaking with Josephine, Leliana and Cullen near the entrance to Celene’s private library. She seemed to be alright, all things considered, though she looked just as tired as he was. The ball had taken an obvious toll on everybody, and it looked like no one managed to get much rest last night. It was hard to believe that so many horrible things had happened in just a couple of hours, but… at least they managed to keep it from getting even worse. 

Raphael rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes. Although the events from last night kept replaying in his mind, his exhaustion turned into nervousness when he remembered the enchanted toolset he had decided to buy while he and Lily were exploring the shops in Orlais. 

He thought it had been a good idea at the time, but now he was wondering if he was probably overstepping into Hannah’s business. She never told him anything about the difficulty of her work, after all, and the only reason he knew was because he had accidentally overheard her frustration about losing her tools in Haven during a conversation with Cullen. 

Raphael had thought of Hannah the moment he spotted the large toolset in the shop’s window. He was in no way familiar with any of the intricate tools, but the shop’s owner assured him they were the best tools an engineer could ever have. With the merchant’s numerous assurances and Lily’s encouragement, he decided to buy it and hope for the best. If he recalled correctly, the toolset would be arriving at Skyhold any day now. 

He scrunched up his face as a sudden thought crept into his head.

_ What if they weren’t the right tools she needed? _

Of _ course _ he would completely screw up a gift that was meant for the beautiful woman he found himself thinking of so often. She was probably going to think he was an absolute idiot for shoving his nose where it didn’t belong.

He heard light footsteps approaching him, soon followed by the sound of Lily’s voice.

“Hey,” she said quietly. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll be better once we leave this damned castle, or palace, or _ whatever _ it is,” he sighed, glancing over at her as she plopped down next to him with a thud. Despite his grumpy mood, he found himself laughing at her startled expression when she realized the sofa was nowhere near as soft as she had expected it to be.

Lily shot him a look as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small pouch. “I bring you good news - we’re leaving first thing in the morning. The empress wanted us to stay a little longer, but Josie managed to excuse us from other fancy gatherings.”

“Sweet merciful Andraste.” His laughter turned into a sigh of relief as he closed his eyes again, though he peeked at her when he felt a light nudge on his hand. “I would’ve lost my mind if I had to listen to another piece of forsaken gossip. You know that Mantillon woman? She kept prattling on about her dead husbands and I lost count after the fifth.”

“There were nine,” Lily sighed, as she poured a couple of pieces of candied fruit into his hand. She leaned back and rested her head on his shoulder before popping a cherry into her mouth. “I’m just glad it’s finally over. This place is just… too much.”

Raphael leaned his head against hers as he ate a small piece of sugary pineapple and nodded. “That’s one way of putting it. I just don’t understand how most of these people see murder and deceit as a form of entertainment.” He gave her a gentle nudge when she didn’t reply. “What about you? Are you alright?”

“I’ll be better when we leave this place, like you said. Though I _ am _ expecting Josie to give me a well-deserved talking to when we get back to Skyhold,” Lily mumbled.

Guilt settled in Raphael’s stomach as he huffed a small, humorless laugh. “We didn’t really make her job any easier, did we?”

“At least _ you _ didn’t almost break a greasy noble’s hand.”

“Well, no, but I definitely thought about it. Besides, that grabby idiot had it coming.” He glanced over to where Cullen was still speaking to Josephine and Leliana. “Is Cullen alright?”

Lily shifted her head to look in the same direction. “He’s okay. Tired, like the rest of us, but he’s happy to go back home. And he has also vowed to never attend another ball for as long as he lives.”

“I can’t say I blame him,” sighed Raphael, as he ate a slice of candied kiwi. “This has all been insane.”

Lily was quiet for a little while before she adjusted her head on his shoulder. “Thank you for being here. I know this wasn’t very easy.”

“Of course,” smiled Raphael, as he lightly poked at her side. “I wasn’t about to let my little sister go off chasing after an assassin without _ me_, after all.” 

Lily gave his arm a light squeeze and pulled an orange slice out of the bag. They sat in silence for a little while as they continued to eat their candy, and Raphael’s mind drifted back to Hannah and what he suspected would be a disaster of a gift. Maker, what the fuck had he been thinking? She most likely considered him an acquaintance at best, and maybe a dumb one, at that. There was no way she’d accept it, not when she probably didn’t even consider him to be a friend.

He sighed as he nibbled on a piece of pear, and it was enough to clue Lily in as to where his thoughts currently were.

“You’re worrying about Hannah’s gift again, aren’t you?”

Raphael hesitated, thinking of coming up with a lie, but decided against it. “...Maybe.”

“Raffy, it’ll be fine.”

He wished he could believe her, but his self-doubt was rearing its ugly head _ again_, and his worry felt even more real now that they were about to go back home. It was as if Lily’s numerous assurances went in one ear and straight out the other, and he knew she was bound to lose her patience soon, just like _ he _ had when he was trying to get her to see reason when it came to Cullen. 

But yet again, he found himself voicing the same question he’s blurted quite a few times ever since he asked the merchant to send the package to Skyhold. 

“Do you really think she’ll like it?” 

He could practically feel Lily rolling her eyes next to him. 

“I’ve seen the tools the rest of the engineers were using while we were in Haven, and they looked just like the ones you purchased,” she replied, in a near exasperated tone. “So _ yes_, I really do think she’ll like them.”

“But what if she gets mad at me for overhearing her conversation with Cullen?” he groaned. “She’s going to hate me again.”

Lily swatted at his arm, her voice stern. “Raffy.”

“What?” he complained. “It’s a possibility!” 

“And it’s a ridiculous one,” Lily retorted. “If she didn’t hate you after you ran into her nose at full speed, then I highly doubt she’d hate you for _ that._” 

Heat creeped into Raphael’s face at the memory and he pouted as he took Lily’s words into consideration. He supposed she had a point, but he knew better than to be optimistic about how things would turn out. Most of his interactions with Hannah have ended in him making an idiot of himself, so why would this one be any different? 

Good thing there was still some time before they were back in Skyhold. Perhaps by then, his mind would be a little clearer.

He closed his eyes as he willed himself to relax. “I hope you’re right.”

Lily patted his arm. “I’m pretty sure I am.”

Their exhaustion became apparent once more as silence settled over them again for a while, and Lily’s slow breathing told him she was dozing off. It had been nearly impossible to get a decent night’s rest since arriving at the damned palace, and Raphael was looking forward to sprawling on his bed while being surrounded by the safety of Skyhold’s walls. 

He knew he’d be able to rest easy there, knowing there won’t be any obnoxious harlequins sneaking around. 

The exhaustion he was trying so hard to resist vanished from his body when he heard slow footsteps that were soon followed by a voice that made his blood run cold. It was a voice he hadn’t heard in _ years_, and it was one he hoped he would never hear again. 

“Son.” 

Raphael desperately hoped that he had somehow fallen asleep and it was just the fade playing tricks on him, but the meager hope he had dissipated when he slowly opened his eyes to find Ediam Trevelyan, his supposed father, standing in the moonlight that was streaming in through the library windows.

The man who was responsible for making Raphael and Lily’s lives a living nightmare had hardly changed at all. His form was just as tall and imposing as it had been years ago and was made even more apparent by the dark finery he was wearing. His harsh features seemed to have hardened even more with age, and there was no warmth in his dark eyes - only something quiet and unreadable, almost as if he was carefully schooling his expression to mask the cold demeanor Raphael was all too familiar with.

It seemed the fearful suspicions he had felt during the ball turned out to be right all along. He allowed himself to fall into a false sense of security the moment it was all over, and just like in the past, Ediam saw it as the perfect opportunity to strike. 

“Raffy, you know this guy?”

Raphael barely heard the muffled voice - the sound of his pounding heart was thundering in his ears, and it took him a while to realize Bull and Dorian were standing nearby and eyeing Ediam with suspicion. 

Before Raphael could gather enough of his bearings to answer Bull’s question, Ediam took the opportunity to speak for him - just like he had usually done in the past. 

“I am certain he _ does _ indeed know me, considering I am his father.” 

Raphael vaguely felt Lily stiffen next to him before she sat upright, and it was enough to snap him out of his stupor. He tensed when Ediam turned his dark gaze on her. 

“Niece. It is lovely to see you again,” he smiled. “I am very impressed by what you managed to accomplish during last night’s festivities.”

Lily remained quiet as she stared at him with wide eyes. Raphael couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but he recognized the fear in her paling face all too well. He swallowed as he stood from his seat and prepared himself to look back at the man standing in front of him, wanting nothing more than to shield Lily from Ediam’s calculating stare.

“What are you doing here?” He almost grimaced at how shaky his voice sounded.

Ediam’s eyes flashed for a brief second, looking as if he was about to reprimand him. “I heard the Inquisition would be attending Empress Celene’s ball, and I figured it would be a good opportunity to see my long-lost son and niece again.”

Raphael stared back at him in disbelief as fury began to pulse in his veins, quickly mixing in with the fear that had left his limbs shaky and weak. This man was responsible for separating him and Lily from the only family they had - _even had a role in their death_ \- and now he sought a family reunion? 

Ediam wanted _something_, that much was clear, and it _had_ to do with the Inquisition. There was no other reason as to why he would suddenly decide to seek out a hated son who had left him in near ruin along with a niece who had been locked away for most of her life. 

“How kind of you,” muttered Raphael, as he clenched his jaw. “And what exactly are you expecting to achieve from such a visit?”

Ediam narrowed his eyes. “Relax, son. I have no desire of getting involved with your… organization.” He glanced at Leliana, Josephine and Cullen, who were quickly making their way over. “And while it was certainly nice to see little Lily again, I am here to speak only with _ you_.”

“You have some fucking nerve, showing up like this after everything you’ve done,” snarled Raphael. “And in case you’ve forgotten, I cut all ties with you years ago. There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I beg to differ.”

They glared at each other in silence for a few minutes before Josephine stepped forward.

“If this conversation is to continue, I think it would be best for you both to have some privacy.” She looked at Ediam, her eyes slightly narrowed. “With _ supervision_, of course.”

That was enough to make Lily recover. Warmth surged through the air as she quickly stood from her seat and placed herself in front of Raphael, panic written all over her face. “Josephine, that is _ not _ _ \- _”

“It’s alright, Lily.” 

Raphael could tell she was about to protest by the way her mouth popped open, but she hesitated as she looked up at him. He wasn’t sure what made him want to hear what the disgusting man in front of him had to say. Perhaps it was his own morbid curiosity, or maybe it was because it felt like the only way to get rid of him. Whatever the reason, all he knew was that he didn’t find himself feeling as afraid anymore, and the rage that had swiftly replaced it was now a strange sense of calm. 

What was this man, really? Compared to the countless demons, undead, darkspawn, and harlequins Raphael had already faced, Ediam was nothing more than a pestering fly dressed in fancy clothes.

Lily’s face was filled with nothing but worry as she continued to look up at him, and he gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile before he turned to Josephine. 

“Lead the way, Josie.” 

“We’d like to join you, if you don’t mind,” announced Dorian, as he and Bull shrugged off the wall they were leaning on. “I believe Lady Josephine wanted some supervisors present, so that’s what we’ll do.”

Raphael nodded as he turned to follow Josephine, but stopped when he suddenly felt the air grow even warmer, almost to an uncomfortable level. A slight scuffle came from behind him and he immediately looked back to find Lily gripping Ediam’s arm at the elbow, nothing but cold fury on her face as she glared up at him. 

Everyone shifted closer to them at the sight, and Raphael could have sworn Cullen reached for one of the throwing knives he kept hidden in his uniform.

A few wisps of smoke curled from Lily’s nose and mouth as she spoke. “If you hurt him again, I will turn you into ash.” 

The mild surprise in Ediam’s face quickly turned into his usual scowl as he glared at her, and he roughly shrugged out of her grasp before straightening the sleeve of his coat. “Just like the ash you almost turned my son into, I presume?” 

Lily’s expression faltered for a brief second, and Raphael did his best to rein in the anger that roared back to life upon hearing Ediam’s words.

“More like the ash you turned our parents into after you left them to die.” Her quiet voice held nothing but the promise of fire and venom, and she took a step closer as more tendrils of smoke drifted from her nose. “Don’t expect a pretty little urn for your remains, Ediam. Getting thrown out with the usual waste is already more than what you deserve.”

They glared at each other for a moment before Ediam finally decided to turn away. He walked towards Josephine without a backwards glance, apparently well aware that any type of confrontation with Lily would end in certain defeat. 

Raphael looked back at her and gave her a reassuring nod when worry slowly replaced the rage that had been so prominent on her face only moments before. He relaxed slightly when Cullen swiftly moved to her side - knowing that Lily wouldn’t be alone was enough to somewhat calm the chaotic mess that was currently occupying Raphael’s mind, and Cullen gave a small nod as if he seemed to understand.

“We’ve prepared a storage room for you. It should be enough to grant you some privacy,” said Leliana. Her cool gaze conveyed a hidden meaning that Raphael immediately understood. “We will be here if you need anything.”

And with that, she stepped aside to reveal the open door that led into a small, dimly lit room.

Random pieces of furniture were stacked off to the side along with a few old paintings and statues. The flickering light of the few candles that were placed throughout the room made the space much more ominous than it probably was, and Raphael found himself needing to take a deep breath when Dorian closed the door. 

Ediam wasted no time in taking his place behind the only desk in the room. 

Typical. 

The room was completely silent aside from the pounding of Raphael’s heartbeat in his ears. Whatever fear he had was completely gone now - _ anger _ was the only thing flowing through his body, and even though part of him wanted to get this whole thing over with, he refused to be the one who would break the silence first.

“You have changed since the last time I saw you.”

Out of all the things Raphael had expected Ediam to say, _ that _ was not one of them. 

Raphael narrowed his eyes. “I hear time can do that to many things, including people.”

Ediam looked at him for a few seconds, his face unreadable. There was once a time when that sort of reply would have resulted in shouting or a stinging face, but now it was only received with silence. Whatever he wanted, it seemed it was necessary to be in Raphael’s good graces to even have a chance at obtaining it. 

“I suppose that is true,” Ediam replied. “The deteriorating state of the world certainly confirms that. Small talk aside, I assume you would like to know why I am here.”

“That _ is _ the point of this meeting.” 

The flickering candles on the desk cast severe shadows on Ediam’s face as he frowned. “Something you should know, Raphael, is how your actions affected us all in Ostwick. Everything your mother and I worked so hard to build got damaged when that girl burned you, but you nearly destroyed it all with the stunt you pulled. For a very long time, you turned us into the laughing stock of the entire city.”

The satisfaction that swelled in Raphael’s chest was almost overwhelming. He knew about the chaos that had erupted after he escaped Ostwick, but hearing Ediam say it was _ much _ more fulfilling. Despite that, he couldn’t help but frown as he took in Ediam’s appearance. 

“I don’t really see what the problem is. You seem to be doing just fine,” he said coolly, as he vaguely gestured at the elegant clothing. 

Dorian snorted softly. 

Ediam glared at him before turning his gaze back to Raphael. “Yes, we are. Despite the disaster you have caused, we still managed to recover enough to stand our ground.” 

Raphael nodded slowly. “And... you decided to come all this way just to tell me that?”

“I came all this way to discuss your _ title,_” replied Ediam, as he clenched his jaw. He reached into his coat pocket, paying absolutely no mind to Bull and Dorian when they shifted in place, and pulled out what appeared to be an official-looking scroll. 

Raphael’s heart began to pound in his chest. “What is that?”

“I spoke with Teyrn Clemons and he agreed to reinstate your title if you returned to Ostwick. _ This _ is the petition you will now sign in order to reclaim what you carelessly threw away.”

“_I will now sign?”_ Raphael repeated incredulously, as he took a small step backwards. “Why the fuck would I do _that?_”

“Because the day you ran away, you deprived me of an heir.” Ediam rested his hands on the desk and leaned forward, familiar anger sparking in his dark eyes. “You should be grateful I am giving you another chance, _ son_. You left our family in near ruins after your reckless behavior.”

Raphael’s eye twitched. If this fucking man called him that one more time…

“Your lack of an heir isn’t exactly _ my _ problem, now is it?” he snapped. “Now that you’ve gotten my answer - which is _ no_, in case I wasn’t clear enough - I think it’s safe to say that we’re done here.” 

“Do _ not _ walk away from me.”

Raphael’s body seemed to have a mind of its own as it obeyed the familiar authority in Ediam’s voice. He stood frozen in place as he glared at the man who was apparently determined to drag him back to Ostwick, feeling as if he was trapped in that fucking study once again. The fact that Ediam had decided to ambush him in Halamshiral instead of making an appearance at Skyhold just confirmed that he wanted to catch him at his most vulnerable, in a place where there was absolutely no sense of safety or comfort.

Ediam’s dark glare pinned him in place as he spoke. “I think you have played enough of your games, do you not agree?” 

Raphael remained silent.

“You have spent _ years _ tarnishing our family name, running around and doing Maker-knows-what, and now you have taken up with the _ Inquisition._ You have joined a _ heretical _ organization, and you have been flaunting your connection to it as if it is something to be proud of. It is time to return home where you belong and assume your rightful title,” Ediam growled, as he stood to his full height. “With luck, we might even be able to find you a wife whose family will ignore the fact that we have a filthy mage in our bloodline.”

Raphael did his best to push aside the terror he felt at the mere idea of being forced back into the smothering life he had managed to escape from so long ago. That would _ never _ happen again - he simply wouldn’t allow it.

“Watch that mouth of yours, Ediam.” Raphel clenched his jaw, trying to ignore the anger now pulsed in time to the quickening beat of his heart. “Keep in mind that Lily and this ‘heretical organization’ you speak of has saved everyone’s asses - _ including yours _ \- from getting annihilated by a hole in the sky.”

Ediam’s frown deepened further as the anger in his eyes turned into ice. “It astounds me how you decide to place your loyalties in the mage girl who nearly drove your family to ruin.”

“_Lily _ is my family, not you. My loyalty will always be with her.”

“Need I remind you that she almost killed you.”

“So did _ you,_” retorted Raphael, as he took a step forward. “What _ she _ did was an accident. But you… you _ knew _ what you were doing. You knew what you were doing when you treated me as a thing you couldn’t be bothered with. You knew what you were doing when you tried to force me into a marriage I wanted no part in, when you made me spit my own blood in your study, and when you left your own brother and his wife to die after their only daughter was taken away.” His voice shook as his vision got slightly blurry. “So before you try to run around making accusations of murder, I suggest you look in the fucking mirror.”

“Their deaths were _ not _ my responsibility,” hissed Ediam. “It is not my fault their weakness did not allow them to withstand - ”

“How the fuck can you say something like that?” demanded Raphael, as he uncrossed his arms and took a small step closer. “Since when is it weakness to love and care for your family?!”

“And what good did it do them?!” snarled Ediam. “Their damned ashes are in the family mausoleum, collecting dust as we speak!”

Raphael gaped at blurring man in front of him, not quite believing what he had just heard. The grief and pain he had kept buried for so long filled his chest to the point where it felt as if he couldn’t breathe, and he found himself gasping for air as his eyes filled with tears. How was it possible for someone to be so heartless, so cold and unfeeling, towards their own family? 

It was then that he realized the reason why he had agreed to speak with this man in the first place - it was because he wanted _ answers__. _He wanted to know why Ediam had chosen to abandon his own family during the worst possible time in their lives, and why he decided to completely destroy the lives of two innocent children who only wanted to have the warmth and comfort of their loving family. 

Raphael’s voice broke as the anger and grief he had tried so hard to smother since he was a child threatened to overcome him. “They needed me,” he said quietly. “My aunt and uncle needed me, and so did Lily. They _ all _ needed me and you kept me from them. Why? Why did you do that?” 

Ediam glared at him for a moment before he slowly made his way around the desk, completely ignoring Dorian and Bull when they shifted closer. 

Raphael fought the urge to take a step backwards when Ediam stopped right in front of him. The last time he had gotten this close, it was only to make Raphael’s mouth bleed. There was nothing but never ending darkness and anger in the eyes that bore into him, and he barely managed to stop himself from flinching when Ediam began to speak in a low voice, so unlike the thunderous shout that had echoed through the small room just seconds ago. 

He just hoped Lily wasn’t able to overhear anything.

“I did it… because they had poisoned your mind enough. I was not going to allow that to continue. Not when you are _ my _ son.”

“_Stop _ calling me that!” Raphael snarled. He took a small step forward as his wariness and grief was swiftly engulfed by fury. “You don’t get to say that to me - the only people who said it and meant it are long gone because of _ you!” _

Ediam sighed deeply, almost as if he was annoyed. “I have had quite _ enough _ of your moping and insolence,” he said quietly. “You will return home with me tomorrow morning, and that is final.”

“I’m not going _anywhere_ with you!”

A flash of undiluted rage brightened Ediam’s eyes as he shifted in place and Bull’s rumbling voice suddenly filled the room.

“Back. Off.”

Ediam didn’t even glance at the hulking qunari who could easily rip him in two - he only kept the weight of his threatening gaze on Raphael, and it was easy to see that he was rapidly losing his patience now that the rag doll he considered to be his ‘son’ was refusing to succumb to his authority.

In the past, this is when Ediam would have raised his hand, but he didn’t have that option anymore. Not when there were so many people around who could end him in the blink of an eye. 

“That was an _ order_, Raphael Esteban Trevelyan, not a request,” he growled, as he slightly bared his teeth.

“If your fucking mercenaries couldn’t make me go back, what makes you think _ you _ can?”

Ediam hesitated, clearly at a loss of words. Well, that was a first.

Raphael took a couple of deep breaths as he tried to calm the furious beating of his heart. “This meeting is over,” he said quietly. His entire body was shaking with pent up fury, and he clenched his fists to steady himself. “For your sake, I suggest you don’t go looking for me again. Lily only threw Catherine out of Skyhold - you won’t be as lucky.”

And with that, Raphael turned towards the door. 

“How _ dare _ you walk away from me - ”

He should have known better than to think he would have been allowed to leave so easily. An iron grip on his arm yanked him to a halt, and the rage that already coursed through his body was quickly joined by an overwhelming sense of panic that seized his heart upon having Ediam’s hands on him once more. 

This vile man was _ never _ going to have the satisfaction of causing him pain ever again. 

Raphael immediately twisted his arm out of the vice-like grip and sent his fist flying straight into Ediam’s face, causing the man to stumble backwards against the desk from the impact before he collapsed onto the marble floor with a crash. 

Ediam uttered a quiet groan of pain as he tried to rise onto his elbow and hissed when he flexed his jaw. A dark, thin stream of blood glinted in the flickering candlelight as it dribbled out of his mouth and onto the floor.

...Just like all those times when Raphael’s own blood had stained the expensive rugs in the man’s study.

Raphael’s blood roared in his ears at the sight, and only intensified with every pounding beat of his heart. Memories of long years filled with grief and torment sparked something within him as they flashed through his mind, and the memories of the smiling yet fading faces of his deceased aunt and uncle were quickly followed by the image of Lily’s pale and somber expression when he found her in Haven. Her face was a reflection of his own pain and loneliness, all caused by _ the fucking man on the ground in front of him_, and it was enough to fuel what he now recognized as the urge - _ the need _ \- to make this man suffer.

Ediam would feel every bit of hurt he had single-handedly inflicted onto everyone Raphael loved, and there would be _ nothing _ he could do about it.

That was the only thought present in Raphael’s mind as he stalked forward and straddled Ediam’s shocked form before he began to pour all of his fury into every single blow. He ignored the crunch of what felt like bones giving way and the warm wetness that spilled onto his hands after the first hit. All he could focus on was the revenge he was _finally_ able to get - not just for him, but for his family.

One hit for his Aunt Elena, a second for his Uncle Nicholas, a third for Lily, and finally, a fourth for himself. 

Before he had the chance to gear up for a fifth, two sets of strong arms pulled him off Ediam’s rasping form. 

Raphael blinked at his surroundings. 

Strange. Had the room always been this bright?

“Raffy?”

He turned to find Lily standing in the bright moonlight that was illuminating the small room. The door was wide open, almost as if it had been roughly thrown aside and more silhouettes appeared behind her as they rushed to gather at the room’s entrance.

Lily was breathing heavily as her panicked eyes roamed over him and she quickly hurried over to his side. Her hands shook as she carefully placed them on his arm, almost as if she was trying not to hurt him and he was confused for a moment until he saw the smears of dark red blood covering his hands. 

His vision blurred as he gaped down at them.

“The pompous dickhead will be fine eventually,” said Bull, from the center of the room. “Not sure about his huge ego, though.”

Raphael turned his gaze away from his hands to look at Bull, who was crouched over Ediam’s weakly shifting form.

The man’s face was completely bloody, almost unrecognizable underneath the gore that was smeared all over his skin. 

It was the same gore that was now on Raphael’s hands, and his chest tightened as he realized the gravity of what he had done. He had lost any semblance of self control, allowed his fury and thirst for revenge to take over him completely, and nearly beat an unarmed man to death. 

This wasn’t him. It _ couldn’t _ be - this type of violent anger surely didn’t belong to him, it belonged to the man who was moaning in pain on the floor.

But then… why else were his hands stained with that foul man’s blood? Was it possible that he… was it possible that one of his worst fears had come true? 

_ Had he turned into his father? _

The question alone made Raphael’s entire body shake, and he found himself gasping for air as a few tears managed to escape his eyes. He barely heard Lily’s worried voice through the sound of his loud heartbeat, and couldn’t even muster the courage to meet her eyes after a heavy feeling of shame and regret settled over him. He _ needed _ to get out of this room - the moans of pain and the sickening scent of blood were just too much to bear. He swallowed when he felt everyone’s eyes on him.

“I - I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I… I need to go.”

* * *

Lily watched as Raphael quickly strode out of the room without so much as a backwards glance, and she automatically took a few shaky steps after him before she forced herself to stay put - the last thing she wanted was to encroach his personal space when he clearly wanted to be alone. 

Ediam’s harsh breaths continued to fill the tense silence in the room as she wiped at her eyes and stared at the empty doorway. The memory of Raphael’s panic-stricken expression was seared into her mind - it was a type of fear that she had _never_ seen on his face before, and it shook her to the very core. 

She knew then and there that leaving him alone for too long was _ not _ an option.

A light touch brushed the back of her clenched fist before she heard Cullen’s soft voice next to her. “What do you want to do, love?” he murmured. 

“I…” Lily trailed off, not knowing how to respond. She paused before looking up at him, and his warm yet concerned gaze was enough to slightly lessen the heavy weight that had settled over her entire body. The moment of clarity it brought made her well aware of the urgent need to protect Raphael’s privacy from any people who might be lurking around. “Could you close the door?” she asked quietly.

Cullen gave her a small smile and nodded.

Darkness descended upon the room a second later and she took a deep breath as she tried to gather her sluggish thoughts together. Raphael needed a few moments to himself, which was something she would respect no matter how much she wanted to go after him, and Leliana still had her spies secretly stationed throughout the palace - they would make sure he was safe, and that was a small comfort in itself.

That meant there was nothing else she could do besides shift her attention to the bleeding man on the floor, who was now rasping unintelligibly at whoever bothered to listen. 

“Looks like the beat-down Raffy gave him wasn’t enough,” muttered Bull, as he stood to his full height and stepped aside. 

“What’s astonishing is that he’s able to make any sound at all,” replied Dorian. He raised his hand to stroke at his chin as he peered down at Ediam. “Though given how relentless some fathers can be, I suppose that’s hardly surprising.”

Lily stared at Ediam for a moment before she slowly walked towards him.

The weakening candlelight glistened off the dark blood on his face, and it was almost impossible to find any semblance of the man he once was underneath it all. The air of demanding authority he previously radiated was gone now, along with his inflated sense of dignity. He had nothing left.

As much as it should have pleased her to see him in such a state, she couldn’t bring herself to partake in the satisfaction - not when she had seen the blatant distress all over Raphael’s face before he nearly ran out of the room. It was distress that had been caused by the vile and abusive man on the floor in front of her, the same man who was responsible for the deaths of their parents and for making most of Raphael’s life a living nightmare. 

Strangely enough, the burning anger and hatred that had pulsed through her whole body just moments before was gone. All that was left was a heavy exhaustion that now seemed to be a permanent part of her. 

“What should we do with him, boss?” 

Lily pondered Bull’s question as she watched a few drops of blood leak out of Ediam’s mouth when he tried to sit up. Leaving him in the palace was clearly not an option, especially when they just finished the negotiations with the empress. This needed to be dealt with carefully. 

“Sneak him out of the palace and dump him somewhere far from here,” she replied. “Whatever happens to him afterwards is not our concern.”

“That may be the best option.” Josephine’s voice shook slightly as she spoke, and she cleared her throat before she assumed her professional tone. “The rest of the nobility will be too preoccupied with Empress Celene’s victory to notice anything else.”

“Good,” Cullen grumbled. “That means they will be out of the way long enough for us to make it to one of our carriages.”

The discussion appeared to grab Ediam’s attention. He collapsed onto his elbow when he tried to look in their direction and uttered some garbled nonsense as he reached up to touch his bloody, mangled face. 

Lily’s vision blurred as she wondered just how many times Raphael had probably done that very same thing when he was younger.

“I should have killed you the moment I realized who you were,” she said quietly.

Ediam wobbled as he turned his head to glare in her general direction and spat a mouthful of blood at her boots. There were a few clacks of something hard landing on the marble floor, and he grimaced as he tried to open his mouth.

“_Mmm - age… b-bit - chh!” _ His voice slurred heavily and he winced with every movement of his shredded mouth.

The tense feeling in the air thickened at his words, but Lily remained unmoved as she stared down at him. That same insult had been hurled her way so much that it hardly fazed her anymore, but she still appreciated the comfort of Cullen’s warm hand enveloping hers. 

“Your words no longer mean anything, Ediam,” she said evenly. “It’s about time you realized that.” 

She was about to step away when she caught sight of what appeared to be a flattened scroll on the floor next to him. Ostwick’s official seal was illuminated when she held the thick parchment up to the dim candlelight, and she picked the cracked wax apart before unrolling it. 

It was hard to make out exactly what was written - the drops of blood that had seeped into the document had muddled most of the elegant script, but the few pieces she was able to read made her freeze in place. 

_ ...has allowed Raphael Esteban Trevelyan to submit a petition to reclaim his noble title... _

_ ...must return to Ostwick to attend a hearing in order for his request to be approved… _

A few wisps of smoke curled from her shaking hands as she understood the motive behind Ediam’s surprise visit. It was abundantly clear that he viewed Raphael as nothing more than a piece of lost property he needed to recover for his own personal gain, and even though his plan had literally blown up in his face, it simply wasn’t enough of a punishment after everything he had done. She turned her gaze to him as she held the parchment right in front of his face, not caring if he could even see it. 

“For this, you will _ wish _ I had killed you,” she snarled softly, before reaching for the hood of his coat and roughly yanking it over his head. 

She ignored his grunt of pain as she pressed her hand over his covered face, and shoved him backwards onto the floor just as a dim light shone from her palm. His body went limp and silent as he collapsed, causing his head to land on the marble with an audible crack. 

The room was completely silent as she turned her attention to the damning paper once more, and no matter how much she willed her body to relax, her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. She couldn’t even imagine how Raphael was feeling at the moment, especially after he had been threatened with being dragged back to the terrifying life he had managed to escape so long ago.

“May I see that, Lily?” 

Josephine’s quiet voice filled the room as she and Leliana stepped closer to peer at the bloody document.

Lily offered it to her without a word and reached for Cullen’s hand just as he began to rub gentle circles along her back. The sensation was enough to faintly soothe the panic that threatened to consume her, and she took a deep breath as she watched Josephine and Leliana quietly examine the illegible words for a few seconds.

“...Oh,” said Josephine, her face hard. “I see.” 

Leliana turned to look Ediam’s unmoving form with a thoughtful expression. “I am surprised he managed to obtain such a petition. From what I have gathered, it is very rare to simply be given the opportunity to reclaim one’s nobility.”

“Regardless of how he managed to get his hands on this request, it means _ nothing _ if it is not signed by the one who files it,” said Josephine, as she handed the parchment back to Lily. She narrowed her eyes as she glanced down at Ediam. “Him returning without Raphael will only make him lose favor with the teyrn and just about everybody else.”

Lily loosened a breath at Josephine’s words, and she squeezed Cullen’s hand when he brushed his thumb over her knuckles. 

“Let’s get to work, then,” he said. “The sooner we get this blasted man out of here, the better.”

“And I know _ just _ the place to send him to,” smirked Leliana.

Lily watched as Bull and Dorian began to arrange Ediam’s motionless body. She didn’t care where the man would be taken - as long as he remained far from Raphael, it was good enough for her. 

She briefly wondered how in the void Ediam had expected to carry out his plan without encountering any type of resistance, but decided that it simply didn’t matter. His visit had resulted in him getting more than he bargained for, and unfortunately for him, his broken face only marked the beginning of his suffering.

“I want to discuss this man’s fate when we return to Skyhold, Josie.”

Josephine gave a small nod in return. “Of course.” 

Lily wasn’t very sure what she would be throwing in Ediam’s way. All she knew was that he had gotten away with too much for far too long, and he would be paying dearly for it soon. She pushed away the many interesting yet vague ideas that drifted through her mind - there would be time to decide on something later. 

Right now, she needed to see her brother. 

Cullen seemed to understand as he shifted closer and placed a small kiss to the top of her head. “Go on, love. We’ll take care of this.” 

Lily lifted their joined hands to press her lips to his knuckles and gave him a grateful smile as she turned to leave. She didn’t bother sparing Ediam another glance - the man had already taken up too much of her time. 

She quickly folded up the parchment into a sloppy square and shoved it into her breast pocket before silently stepping out of the room. As much as she wanted to set it aflame, it wasn’t up to _ her _ to decide what to do with it - the only person who had any say in the matter was Raphael. 

The worry that was settled deep inside her nearly overwhelmed all rational thought as she wondered where he could have possibly gone. She briefly considered searching the entire palace before she realized that he would most likely be in the Inquisitorial wing - the only place in this obnoxious building that probably held any semblance of privacy. 

She tried to force her face into an impassive expression as she quickly made her way through the seemingly empty halls. The last thing she wanted was to be held up by some noble who had decided to sneak away from the remaining talks with the Empress - there was no time for that, not when her brother was scared and alone.

_ He wouldn’t be scared or alone right now if you had prevented the meeting from happening in the first place. _

Lily’s eyes filled with tears again when the thought crept into her head, and she didn’t bother pushing it away. It was completely true, after all. 

She had sworn to herself that she would protect her brother as much as she could. Instead, all she did at the time was gape at the man responsible for Raphael’s torment as his cold voice chilled her to the bone. Raphael had told her about the awful things the violent and controlling man put him through, and they had all flashed through her mind as she did nothing but stare into the harsh face that had caused so much loneliness and anguish to befall on everyone around it.

It was something she would regret for the rest of her life.

But... no matter how much she had been against the idea of a private meeting to begin with or how desperate she was to prevent it from happening, she couldn’t bring herself to stop it when Raphael had agreed to speak with Ediam. There was no way she would ever take away his right to make his own decisions, not when his so-called family had done it for most of his life. 

So instead… she had done nothing but threaten Ediam with a few feeble words before she simply watched as Raphael followed him into the small, dark room. 

That’s all she’s been able to do ever since Ediam first appeared in front of them - just stand by and watch. 

She was done now. 

The careful mask she had kept up as she made her way to her assigned rooms crumpled as soon as she shut the door behind her. She roughly wiped at the few tears that managed to escape as she hurried across the large room to grab a spare jar of elfroot salve and some clean bandages from her bag, not wanting to give in to the turmoil that was brewing in the pit of her stomach. 

Now wasn’t the time for her to fall apart, not when Raphael needed her.

There was nothing but heavy silence in the air when she stepped back out into the empty hall. Raphael’s room was next to hers and if he really _ was _ in there, she would have probably heard some sort of noise by now. Still, she rushed towards his room anyway, only to break into a flat out run when she heard the sound of shattering glass being followed by a loud curse. 

_ Maker, no. _

Her heart pounded as she shoved the heavy door open, ready to incinerate anyone who dared cause Raphael any more harm, but stopped in her tracks when she spotted him in the far end of the room, sitting alone on the floor. He stared back at her with wide eyes, a surprised and distraught look on his pale face before he relaxed his clenched fists, which were resting on his knees.

Lily’s throat tightened and she cursed herself for barging into his room so suddenly and unannounced. She hesitated in the doorway for a few seconds, unsure of what to do before she finally swallowed and shifted in place.

“Can I come in?” she asked quietly.

He looked at her for a moment and released a shaky breath as he turned his gaze to the floor and nodded.

She carefully shut the door behind her and made sure to lock it before slowly walking towards him. Moonlight from the open window reflected off of what appeared to be a few puddles of water on the floor from the dirty washbasin nearby, along with some shards of broken glass that were covered in a thick, light colored substance. The familiar scent of elfroot reached her nose, and she tightened her grip around the salve she had brought as she sat down next to him. 

They sat quietly for a while, the only sounds being that of his unsteady breathing and the crackling fireplace. She racked her mind for something to say, for _ anything _ that could bring him some type of comfort as she took in his cut and bruised hands, but that was forgotten the second she noticed tears beginning to form in his eyes. 

He kept his face turned slightly away from her as he clenched his eyes shut, almost as if he was ashamed and roughly rubbed at his eyes with the back of his arm.

Lily’s own tears began to sting her eyes upon seeing the profound sorrow in Raphael’s face, which was so unlike the happy smiles and grumpy frowns he usually had. She realized then that talking wouldn’t do any good - this type of pain was something that couldn’t be soothed with words, no matter how heartfelt they were. 

She reached out to touch his arm, but hesitated at the last second, unsure if it was something he wanted. Instead, she whispered his name and held her arms slightly open to him when he looked back at her, hoping to convey that he was free to accept or decline the comfort she was offering. 

The hurt he was trying so hard to hide broke through after a few seconds, and he quickly leaned forward to bury his face in her shoulder just as a small, shuddering gasp escaped him. His whole body shook as he finally allowed himself to _ cry_, to _ release _ the suffocating pain and anguish that had been plaguing him for so many long years.

She immediately wrapped her arms around him as she leaned her head on his, and the tears she had been trying to hold back broke free at the sound of his muffled sobs. They reminded her of the time he had cried while they were in Haven, and it broke her heart to know he had been dealing with so much agony and torment on his own since he was just a child. She held him tighter. 

Raphael wasn’t alone anymore - that was what mattered now. 

It didn’t take long for his tears to soak through the fabric of Lily’s coat as she continued to quietly hold him, and it was almost as if every bit of despair he had bottled up for so long was pouring out of him with every sob that wracked through his body. She clenched her jaw in an effort to keep her own tears silent as they sat there for a long while, and listened as his gasping cries slowly quieted down to slight sniffles. 

It was only then when he gently leaned out of her embrace and stared at the floor again. His eyes were puffy and red, skin raw from all the tears he had shed and he sighed deeply before looking at his injured hands, which appeared to be swelling around the knuckles. 

Lily reached into her pocket to retrieve the bandages she had brought, but paused when she heard his voice.

“You know… I always dreamed of knocking the teeth out of that man’s stupid mouth, and now that I have… the satisfaction I thought I was going to feel isn’t there,” he said quietly, his voice breaking. “It’s just… emptiness. What I did didn’t bring our parents back. It didn’t prevent you from being alone in the Circle. It didn’t make the hurt go away. It didn’t change a damn thing, and all that came out of it was me getting his fucking blood on my hands.” 

A heavy feeling settled in Lily’s stomach upon hearing his words, and she swallowed before shifting closer to him. “Raffy, it’s okay - ”

“No... it’s not,” he replied, as he slowly shook his head. “All I did was prove that I’m just like _ him _ \- a cruel man who gets blinded by anger.” He clenched his jaw as he flexed his injured hands. “Like father, like son, I guess.”

Something sparked within Lily as she caught on to his meaning. 

“That is _ not _ true, Raffy.” 

She pressed on when he opened his mouth to argue, not wanting to give him another chance to compare himself to such a heartless monster. 

“A cruel and violent man wouldn’t care about other people as much as you do. He wouldn’t risk his life for friends and family if there was even the slightest hint of danger, and he would _ not _ have so many people willing to do the same for him.” She paused when he turned his gaze back to the floor and swallowed when her eyes began to fill with tears once more. “You are _ not _ that man, and while the man in that room may be your birth father, he will _ never _ be your father in the way that it matters. Raffy, you are Nicholas and Elena's son and you are my brother. Please don’t forget that.”

He looked at her after a few seconds, and the hesitant yet hopeful expression on his face was painful to see. How he could ever think that he was anything like that horrendous and uncaring man, she didn’t know, but it was a thought that she desperately wished would go away. Just as she was about to open her mouth to say something else, he leaned forward and wrapped her in a hug so tight that it felt as if the air was about to be squeezed out of her lungs. She didn’t care - she hugged him back with as much strength as she could muster, only releasing him when she heard a small hiss of pain.

He sighed as he squinted at one of his hands, right at the spot where a fresh drop of blood was seeping from a deep cut on his knuckles. 

Lily quickly got up from the floor and walked over to the washbasin. Water droplets covered most of the marble and the bloody water within was dark, almost impossible to see through. She paused for a brief second before draining its contents and rinsed the rest of it away. 

“Lily?”

“Hmm?”

“W - what happened? After I left?” 

She hesitated as she wiped down the basin and sighed quietly when she remembered the piece of bloody parchment that was nestled in her coat. Part of her didn’t want to talk about Ediam - the man had caused Raphael so much distress in just the last hour, and the last thing she wanted was for her brother to go through anything more. But… he had a right to know. 

She set the towel down as she turned to him and swallowed.

“They’re sneaking him out of the palace,” she said quietly. “Leliana is going to have him taken somewhere - judging by what she said, he’s going to have a hard time finding his way back home.”

Raphael nodded as he stared at the floor. “...Josie must be furious with me, isn’t she?”

“No, no one is mad at you,” replied Lily, as she shook her head. “And the only person she might be mad at is the entitled prick who tried to intrude in our lives again.”

She watched as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall with a sigh. The document began to feel heavy against her chest, and she briefly wondered if now was a good time to bring it up, or if it was best to wait until later. She closed her eyes and rubbed at her forehead.

This moment was as good as any, she supposed.

“Speaking of Josie, she… she looked through the scroll he had,” she murmured, as she reached into her coat.

Raphael’s eyes flew open and he visibly stiffened at the sight of the bloody, wrinkled document, but he didn’t say anything.

“This form holds no weight over you,” assured Lily, her voice firm. “There is _ nothing _ he can do to force you to go back with him.”

A flicker of relief passed through his face upon hearing her words, though he kept his wary gaze on the thick paper in her hands and she swallowed as she looked down at it, suddenly worried that she made a mistake. 

“I - I wasn’t sure what you wanted to do with it,” she admitted. “I’m sorry, did I - ”

“No, it - it’s fine,” he replied quietly, with a slight shake of his head. “Can I see it?”

She held the parchment out to him and he clenched his jaw when his fingers made contact with the dried blood. Still, he unfolded it anyway and sighed deeply as he looked over the stained writing within. Sadness and anger flashed through his face as his eyes scanned the entire thing for a few seconds, and he promptly balled up the document before throwing it into the fireplace across the room. 

They both watched in silence as the cursed and tainted paper was engulfed in flames, soon becoming nothing but a pile of glowing embers that fell apart and blended into the old ash of burning wood. 

And just like that, it was almost as if the paper had never existed.

Almost.

Lily washed her hands, filled an empty pitcher with warm water and grabbed a few clean towels from the cabinet nearby before settling down next to Raphael again. She gently took his hands and began to carefully wipe away every single trace of blood, making sure that his skin and his wounds were completely clean and free from that man’s foul existence.

This would never happen again - she and Josephine would make sure of it.

She paused as she noticed the significant swelling around his knuckles. It was much more obvious now that his skin was clean, and she knew right away that this wasn’t something a simple salve could fix.

“You need to see a healer,” she said, as she opened the jar. “I think you might have cracked a few bones.” 

He nodded. “I’ll do it in the morning.”

Lily looked at him for a moment and sighed.

“Before we leave, I promise,” he added, with a small roll of his eyes. 

They sat in silence as she lightly applied the cooling salve to his skin. The exhaustion from… _ everything _ appeared to be catching up to them, but after all that had happened over the last few hours, she doubted anyone would be getting any sleep for the night. 

“Are you okay, Lily?”

It took her a second to realize what Raphael was asking - she was so concentrated in her work that his question caught her off guard, and she had to take a few moments to come up with her answer. 

And judging from his worried expression, she knew she must have taken a little too long to respond.

He sighed and looked at the floor. “I’m so sorry, I - ”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Lily said firmly. “The _ only _ person who did anything wrong tonight is currently unconscious in a carriage and is being taken to who-knows-where.” 

She could tell Raphael was about to disagree with her definitive words, but he closed his mouth when she raised her brow.

“Alright, then,” he said after a slight pause. “But if I can’t apologize over anything that happened, then neither can you.”

Her hands stilled as she was about to wrap a bandage around one of his hands. 

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing that happened is your fault, either. _I_ chose to come to this palace, and _I_ am the one who agreed to go into that room,” he explained, with a knowing expression. “All you did was respect my choices, which is something not many people have done. So _please__ -_ don’t be sorry for that.”

Lily stared at him, not knowing what to say. She only looked away when tears began to sting her eyes, and she blinked them away as she began to wrap his hand. 

The conditions they both set for each other were obviously easier said than done, but maybe they could still try to meet halfway.

“Okay,” she agreed. “No apologizing for things that aren’t our fault, then.”

Raphael huffed a small laugh. “Well, now that I think about it, there _ are _ a few people we should say sorry to - Josephine, specifically.”

“I know,” sighed Lily, as she secured his bandage. “We’ve been _ quite _ the handful these past couple of weeks, but we’ll find a way to make it up to her when we get back home.”

She finished wrapping his other hand, and after she double checked her work to make sure the cloth was loose enough to allow his skin to breathe, she shifted next to him to rest her back against the wall. 

Silence settled over them once more as they watched the crackling flames of the fireplace for a while, and Lily glanced at Raphael when she heard him sigh quietly. He looked utterly exhausted as he closed his eyes, and it was almost enough to cover up the slight sadness that was still present in his face. 

She scooted closer and wrapped her arms around him before resting her head on his shoulder. 

“Everything is going to be okay.”


End file.
